Wednesday, January 13, 2010

An Evening Turned Sour?

This evening when I reached home, Aaron and Fernie were getting ready to go jogging at polo ground. Since I have not been exercising for a number of weeks, I readily agreed to go with them as well. While in the car, the subject of "tuition" propped up and that started an "argument" between Fernie and I.

It started off when she told me that she didnt want to go for the Add. Maths tuition this evening, she said the teacher is not good. But I told her that this is only temporary cos there was no other teachers that could teach in the evening and I have to work in the day. And it went on and on.... till.... I said something very discouraging to her. I told her to shift to Arts class instead of Science stream, adding that she would be very stressed up if she were to continue in science subjects...
What a negative mum I M!

The joy of jogging turned sour. We walked separately, she in front, me behind.... I was pretty stressed up again, a heavy thud within me. I know she was still fuming when she left for her tuition just now... hope she will not be when she comes home later... I must apologize to her...
It is not easy being a mum.. huh??? right????


  1. Aunty, if your daughter wants to go for another teacher for Add Maths tuition then I can recommend a good one whom I went for two years. He teaches in his home at Taman Kin Mee, near Fair Park, and it is not a very big class (his room cannot accommodate too many students also). If you are interested, let me know and I'll pass you his telephone number!

  2. Oh yeah, I'm not sure if he teaches at night or in the evening, but I guess it's worth asking.

  3. Poor Claire,
    We , mothers ,tend to SCOLD whenever we are CONCERNED.*sigh*
    It is a good idea to talk to Fernie.

    I have learned that we, mothers really ought to LISTEN if we want our kids to COMMUNICATE to us OPENLY.

    You are not a terrible mother, just a overly stressed and concern one...

    Claire, YOU really need to relax. Sometimes, when we are preoccupied, we cannot communicate properly.


  4. Actually, going to the Arts Stream is not a bad idea. It's not easy to cope with the syllabus of Science subjects particularly Biology. Students may find Chemistry and Physics easier at the SPM level but definitely not Biology. That's how the Science-Arts stream (drop Bio, take Principles of Accounts) was created. The first two chapters in the Biology book are good enough to scare students off but if she is determined to be a Science student, she should be able to make it through the first few 'scary' chapters. As she has got used to studying the principles of Biology, she will realise that there is actually not much facts and terms to be memorised. Everything just comes like fingertips...
    As for Add Math, going to the right tutor is a very essential element as the tutor would influence the interest of students towards the subject. If the tutor is able to provide a clear guidance to the students at the very beginning, they will develop an interest in learning Add Math and the following journey of learning will be some much easier. Try to play with your daughter's mind. She is just a teenager. At this age, she is unsure of what she really wants so encouragement from parents are very important. If possible, don't force her to study subjects which she doesn't like. At the end of the day, she would suffer a lot and good results can hardly be seen.
    (Sorry for being so long-winded and busy body)

  5. I know just how you feel...I had my own little run in with my DD this morning.

  6. henry.. if u dont mind, yes, i do want the number and hope it is in the evenings cos i cannot send her during the day... that is the problem. she wanted the day tuition at 4pm but unfortunately i cannot.. i feel so guilty and the night one, she said it was not good .. sigh.. i need a driver.. somehow..

    Shakira: i guess u understand me as u r a mother of teenagers too.. sometimes i do heave and breathe heavily when this type of situation arises.. patience wears out at times..

  7. Try calling this Mr. Tan at 012-5181039. I know him to be a very good Add Maths teacher, and his materials are quite challenging, thus encouraging students to think, not just to answer the questions only. I'm not sure about the timing of his classes already. You should give him a call and see.

  8. Claire... that's just stress speaking from everyone. just try to take it easy... take care, k? *hugs*

    I may not be a mum to a teenage boy or girl...but there's one thing that I know about teenager, used to being one myself... is give them support...

    Teenagers are the kind who have this kind of thinking

    "I don't need your permission to do anything, I just need your support... but even without your support, I still can go on!"

    So might as well be supportive of them, else, you'll go looney cuz of their antics.

  9. mingna: thank u so much.. and i love long long comments, u r not long winded.. yr long comment taught me lots.. i know we need a lot of patience and communication with our kids.. sometimes it is just so difficult.. and i wonder where i hv gone wrong..
    my girl is the type who wants to stay top but stressing herself while doing so.. i prefer her to slow down which she doesnt want to.. so that is the reason for the argument.. and i hope she can cope up with those is very worrying to have high expectations in oneself and when she couldnt achieve it, she will feel very distressed..

    lynette: i guess it is one of those days huh?

  10. henry: thank u very much.. i give him a call tomorrow.. see whether his time is suitable for ME.. otherwise, susah juga.. thanks again...

    cleff: thanks for the hug hug.. i need that ... i cannot keep it overnight, i must make sure she is smiling again before i go to sleep otherwise, i dont feel at peace and then u know.. u know..

  11. You got that right, whether a Mom or Dad, sometimes it's just not EASY. We had five, believe me I know. I have bitten my tongue so many times trying not to say what I really thought or felt like saying that it's a wonder the tip isn't missing. LOL It will all work out, believe me.

  12. Patty, yes.. it is not easy.. definitely.. not as a mum.. sometimes i just cannot help myself from blurting out things i shouldnt say...i guess this is my weak point..

  13. OK now Claire, you are way too stressed up now. You are handling 'my case', Fernie's and that another friend of yours.. and many more.. You just have to chill Claire.. Pls take care of yourself... You are a great friend, a really great friend and most of all, YOU ARE THE GREATEST MOM! take care now.

  14. Don't be discouraged Claire. Yes, being a mum is never an easy thing. My eldest is only 2 yrs and 5 months and i'm already making so many mistakes to the point where I have so apologize to her. My relationship with my mum was never as close as I wanted it to be so I vowed that my relationship with my kids are better. But there are times when kids don't see things from our point of view and that frustrates us. You're a good mum Claire and you won't be doing what you're doing if you weren't thinking what's best for her. Don't be too hard on yourself because I bet you anything you like, she's thought about what you said to her as well, and think that maybe it's not such a bad idea.
    We learn from each other everyday and like a quote I saw on facebook yesterday, it says 'While we try to teach children all about life, our children teach us what lif is all about'.
    Have a great week ahead and hope things will resolve itself soon XX

  15. Ah I know how you feel. Have been there many, many times over the years with all three of my children. Its hard to stand by and watch your child struggle but it will work out in the end. Being a mother is a very hard job but oh so rewarding!

  16. Sometimes you just have to relax and loosen your grip a little bit. You are no saint Claire. :)

  17. merryn: hey, dont put me so high, i am not that big.. either i kaypor too much and that caused me to stressed up.. cannot help not feeling that, perhaps i follow yr way, stop chatting first.. :)

    fely: we as parents doesnt mean we r always right, yes... what u said is correct, we r also learning from them.. it is a 2 way traffic, we teach each other and we learn too.. that is hard, huh...

    cheryl: i m happy to hear that, dear, hope the rewards will come from our sowing...

    tekkaus: i must go for some aerobic to loosen up.. exercise is the best to release stress, right? or is it chocolates??

  18. Hey aunty also is a add maths teacher! Have you found one for your daughter yet?

    If you want....drop me a note.

    Hope everything works out.

  19. ann: i do want... ok i go over to u now..

  20. Ok to have some argument but one must take it constructively. Hope everything goes well in her tuition class!

  21. pete: yes.. i hope she will be able to get along with the tuition teachers ... i just got to rush back to take her, that is all.. *heave*


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